Good Friday, Now That You Mention It...

Don't worry about things that haven't happened yet.

A simple yet invaluable pearl of wisdom - and one I have received more times than I can count. Be it from a friend, family, lover or stranger, it lands with varying degrees of impact and at times I swear on my very existence I'll never need to hear it again.

And, without fail, I'll feel the words wash over me again, as if for the first time.

In New York City, we are perpetually surrounded by people tormented by addictive lifestyles. Unable to relinquish the habits that imprison them. Their vices range from alcohol to sex to dieting to working to coffee to exercise to money to everything in between. And the lesson that seems to continually fall on deaf ears is that any thing - even that with the best intention - can be done to unnecessary excess.

As a genuine Libra, I pride myself on a delicate balance of life - work and play, comedy and drama, business and art, chocolate and salad, family and friends...it's an obvious and deliberate part of how I choose to live.

But like any addict - any habitual user of anything - I use all of the good I do, all of the well-meaning effort as justification for my sinful behavior. To award myself a sense of entitlement for my bad habit.

And, just like everything else, it's a habit that's hurting me first and foremost, with the people I love most deeply running a close second.

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A necessary distinction to be made is that my worrying by no means renders me unhappy. If anything, it is the price I choose to pay for happiness - the lingering 'what if' question than can be applied universally as if to acknowledge that, yes, life is so fucking great - because xyz hasn't happened yet.

But what about deleting the 'yet' - three innocent letters loaded with implications. What about, without abandoning responsibilities, liberating myself from the minor potential that things will go wrong? Enough is enough.

Aside from biting my nails and diet soda, I've never failed to conquer a demon. Some times it's just a little more overdue than others.