In the culminating days of 2010, a year chock-full of karmic rewards and fortuitous happenings, a darker shade of reality reared its ugly head directly in the face of some of my closest friends. Empathetic as I am to my female counterparts, I felt it too: a numbing sense of loss and defeat on their behalf. One that called to mind that ever-looming question that plagues any woman with a healthy case of neurosis:
When will the other shoe drop?
When will my relationship turn sour, my job prove unfulfilling, my parents become less understanding, my health and fitness less easily attained, my apartment less affordable?
The ebb and flow of life is an undeniable force, not to be harnessed or manipulated. So how do we enjoy the good times without living in fear of the bad?
I believe humans are to emotional fortitude what camels are to water. (Bear with me.)
During the good times, we store up our happiness as a means of survival. When life is going smoothly, we are equipped with a courage, a fearlessness, if you will. And since we don't need it at the time, we save it. We hold onto it so that in our times of need we look back on it as an inspiration to endure.
And while I certainly have no pessimism about 2011, I choose to enter it well-equipped with the gifts 2010 has given me. I choose to delve further into my cherished relationship and embrace the changes and challenges that come with loving someone for over a year. I choose to tackle my day job head-on while actively committing to me the artist, someone who needs to sing for others, regardless of pay. I choose to celebrate the energy that has accompanied my renewed devotion to running by continuing to do it, every day. I choose to give more to others - both through random acts and a more regular commitment to volunteering.
Rather than resolutions or promises, these are choices. And knowing that I'm doing all I can do, I breathe easier.
And I hold on to the unshakable faith that, through it all, a few of the really important things can - and do - last forever.
Call me a romantic.
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